AUTHOR RICK FLORINO CONTINUES
DOLOR NOVELLA SERIES WITH

Dolor: Arielle │Book III

OUT SEPTEMBER 27

Sam’s wife Arielle just left him, but that’s the least of his problems…

After sitting through three meetings in his downtown Dolor law office,
strange things begin happening to this lawyer.
One of Sam’s clients nearly bleeds to death
in some sort of ritual right before his eyes,
however the evil doesn’t let up…

Author Rick Florino continues his Dolor mystery/horror novella series with Dolor: Arielle│Book III, out September 27 via New American Deities. Arielle–the third in a series of ten stories about the creepy town of Dolor–will be available for only 99 cents on September 27, 28 and 29 at www.BookOfDolor.com. From September 30 through October 31, 2010, Arielle can be purchased for the discounted price of $3.99. As an introduction to the Dolor story, a free download of Lila and Chrissy, the first two books in the series, is available at www.bookofdolor.com/signup.html and hard copies of the books can be purchased for just $4.99 each.

Florino–author of Dolor: Lila | Book I, Dolor: Chrissy | Book II, Do The Devil’s Work For Him, founder of Ruin Magazine and Editor-In-Chief of ARTISTdirect.com–offers his thoughts on Arielle: “Arielle represents everything that I always wanted this series to be. The mystery behind Dolor begins to unravel further within the landscape of a very dark and twisted story. The narrative itself examines so much in short space—from the breakdown of a marriage to the breakdown of a mind. Then there’s a deeper and more demonic aspect to Arielle as well that’s reminiscent of ’60s and ’70s horror, yet the characters all come to life vibrantly. Fans of the series will get to learn a little bit more about Caleb Taylor, and they’ll also get a closer look at what’s really happening underneath the surface of this town. Arielle also features a musical aspect that will come into play much more as the series progresses. In some ways, Arielle closes out the trilogy that is the first three books. However, it also leaves everything open for the next seven to come. This is a very special book, and newcomers and previous visitors to Dolor will be equally possessed by it…I still am.”

Florino moved to Los Angeles to pursue his dream of working in the entertainment industry after graduating from Boston University Magna Cum Laude at 19 years old. He began his career at New Line Cinema and freelancing for magazines such as Metal Edge, AMP and Lollipop. Constantly writing, he cultivated a unique style that was clever, vivid and highly eloquent. That style would fuel his 2006 creation, the bi-monthly hard rock publication Ruin Magazine. In 2007, Rick became an editor for ARTISTdirect.com, where he conducts interviews with A-list film and music talent for exclusive features. His words have also appeared in publications including Inked Magazine, BPM Magazine, Revolver, Kerrang!, Hit Parader, LAX Magazine, Shockhound.com, Craveonline.com, Bloody-Disgusting.com and many more.

His first book, Do The Devil’s Work For Him, was released in June 2009. In support of the book, Rick was featured on No Good TV with members of Guns N’ Roses/Velvet Revolver, System of a Down and Devildriver discussing the text. He was also featured on FOX News. He released the first book of the Dolor series, Lila, in October of 2009 and followed with Dolor: Chrissy in February 2010.

Here’s a sample of the critical praise for Dolor: Chrissy and Dolor: Lila:

“Rick Florino is a writer that can be compared to Stephen King…He was put on this earth to tell stories and that is exactly what he is doing.”
–Dana Feldman, Examiner.com, March 13, 2010

“A unique blend of macabre writing and graphic horror imagery. An addictive story line leaving you anxious for more to come.”
–Raphael Shlosman, VampireFreaks.com, January 21, 2010

“…when I see an indie book series out, like this Dolor, I stand up and take notice…This second book in the Dolor series is not only a fun read, but its a fantastic and twisted look into an entirely new world! I highly recommend it.”
–Matt MacNabb, BookLegion.com, February 17, 2010

“No sophomore slump with Dolor: Chrissy | Book II…heavy horror elements are involved–heavier than those that came into play in Lila…the steps he’s taking with this ambitious project are sure-footed.”
–Rod Lott, Bookgasm.com, February 24, 2010

“…a gritty series of illustrated novellas about tragic characters, fantasy, and horror…Rick Florino’s ability to write tight convincing dialogue, plot, and intrigue is exceptional…This is not your typical graphic novel or horror novella, the Dolor series drags a reader in from the first page and tells a full story in limited time.”
–Jessica Bohatch-Easton, MetalExiles.com, March 2010

“…strange, dark and witty…I couldn’t put it down and when I was done; I wanted nothing more than to have the next installment in my hands…”
–Sarah Boger, BandVibe.com, February 20, 2010

“Lila makes for a damn good read. It’s creepy in spots, and madly melancholy in plenty of others. Rick Florino clearly understands the sensitivity behind the content, and manages to siphon frightening reality from the idea…outstanding piece of fiction.”
–Matt Molgaard, Fangoria.com, November 16, 2009

“Horror fiction has put a few cities on the map: Castle Rock, Serenity Falls, Orangefield. Add Dolor to that list…It’s easy to get caught up in Florino’s tale, not only because it adheres to storytelling brevity, but also because it has a rock ‘n’ roll sensibility to it, dishing out details of drugs, sex and violence.”
–Rod Lott, Bookgasm.com, November 2009

“A heartbreaking, horrifying and honest examination of a damaged psyche, true violence, drug addiction and love unreturned…a horror masterpiece…”
–LAX Magazine, Winter 2009

“If the rest of the volumes are even half as good as Lila, we’re in for a huge treat…A great start to what appears to be an even greater series…”
–BC, Bloody-Disgusting.com, December 5, 2009

Dolor: Arielle │Book III…How much farther will you fall?

About Dolor
Dolor is a creepy little town that you won’t be able to leave. It’s the kind of place you can’t forget. It’s the kind of place where anything can happen. It’s the kind of place where evil doesn’t just die. It’s the kind of place that nightmares are born to live forever…

In October 2009, Rick Florino opened up Dolor to the “real” world with his first novella Dolor: Lila | Book I. At the beginning of Lila, FBI Agent Jeffries goes to Dolor to investigate a fire. The town’s been burned to the ground. One lone house stands—charred to Hell on the outside, but fine on the inside. Within those walls, Jeffries finds ten small diaries. Each diary is written by a different denizen of Dolor, delving into some sort of darkness. The first diary is Lila | Book I.

Enter the world of Rick Florino’s Dolor, you’ll never be the same. Then succumb to the tales of Chrissy, Arielle, Decker, Cassie, Olivia, Orestes, Lucia, Sage and Helen. Nightmares are guaranteed.
www.BookOfDolor.com

(Originally published on www.thenightgarden.net go to Prose section….)

She found the small ramshackle collection of flowers and vegetables while walking through the forest. The forest composed of tall redwoods and pines, forest floor damp with pine needles and leaves, soft sounds of the wind lazily waving fall-laden branches, and the occasional chattering of squirrels and birds. The wooded area was not brightly lit and welcoming, nor was it dark and imposing to trespassers. Instead, the forest seemed to have a lonely neglected air to it, as if it was waiting for someone or something.

She did not expect to find the garden one dusky evening. Yet, the forest had called to her, as it did most nights. Nights where she set off with an ancient film camera, traipsing around with a gnarled walking stick, sturdy boots, and backpack filled with emergency supplies and snacks (she was always prepared you see).

It was not a particularly large collection of non-native flowers and vegetables, but the location and obvious planting of such plants made the discovery surprising. She wondered, what was a garden doing in a forest devoid of plants?

Each flower was tall, proud; reaching to perhaps grasp whatever light was available during the day. The flowers surrounded the vegetables, marking the garden, keeping the nutritious items inside safe from prying eyes and paws. Perhaps whoever planted the garden thought the supply of food would be ignored because of the beauty of the flowers. Petals of deep blue, jewel red, shocking yellow, and orange vied for attention while fat green cucumbers, shiny bell peppers, zucchini, impossibly large tomatoes of various colors, and nutritious carrots nestled in the middle.

Her camera was slung around her neck, waiting for use. Pictures of the forest were abundant but she had not taken any in quite awhile. The garden, a find one does not expect in a forest, was picture worthy. She started snapping off shots, different angles, capturing the remaining light until she was left with black and white film in the dark. She thought that her night shots would either be ruined by the lack of light or be stunningly beautiful in their simplicity.

Snacks were eaten, sleeping bag rolled out under the stars. She thought to stay awake to see if she would see the owner of the garden. Who planted it? Who watered it? Who pulled weeds and picked flowers and vegetables? She wanted to know, needed to know. Even the thought of sleeping in her bed was not enough of a draw to hike home.

She managed to stay awake until midnight, but hours of walking earlier in the day pushed her into a heavy deep sleep. Not a dreamless sleep, as she dreamed of a stag, with a large rack of antlers, patiently watching through the trees, an ancient wrinkly caretaker tending the plants, and turquoise dragonflies with glistening wings flitting through the air, pausing by elder trees and bright petals. The dreams woke her early and she left as night was turning into day. Walking home in a haze, she did not notice the fog covering the trees or the rain soaking her and the trail towards home.

Somehow, the walk home did not take hours, as the trail was fogless. How she did not know and when she tried to think about how the forest was shrouded in gray mist and rain and the trail visible, her thoughts became muddled and wandered to thoughts of warmth and a soft bed.

Home seemed to be a beacon in the fog and she stumbled through the door. Her bed would have to wait as she developed two rolls of film, hung the colorful and black and white photos up to dry. She did not truly look at the photos as she processed them, studying each photo, choosing photos that captured her night would have to wait until after she collapsed in bed.

Early in the evening she awoke, hot chocolate warming on the stove, the deep rich flavor reaching all corners of the house as she collected her photos from her developing room. Colorful stalks and blooms peaked out from the approaching darkness, and vegetables waiting to be eaten gleamed in the night air.

The black and white photos were different, as each one seemed marred by the shadow of a man, man and the enclosing forest fused into one, causing little definition between body and tree limbs.

The last photo lacked the shadow; instead, a man covered half the photo, blocking most of the garden. The man was no longer the shadow but somehow he was not entirely visible as his person was wrapped in the shadows created by the camera flash and night. The man was large, broad shoulders, and a strong profile. He was one with the trees, as the branches seemed to grow out of his head. Eyes piercing, even in shadow, stared into her soul.

Yet, she had not seen the man, shadowed or not while snapping away the night before.

As she carried the photo and steaming cup of chocolate to the couch in front of the fireplace, she realized those were not branches, they were antlers growing out of his head.

2010

By Jessica Bohatch-Easton

The town of Dolor has burned to the ground and FBI Agent Jeffries has gone to investigate.   Therein lies the strange story of the men and women of Dolor and the tragedies that befall its inhabitants.  Strangely enough, Agent Jeffries finds one house that has not burned to a crisp and inside are ten diaries that he reads one by one.  Each diary is a book in the Dolor series, a gritty series of illustrated novellas about tragic characters, fantasy, and horror.  Chrissy is the second novella in the Dolor series of characters.

Dolor: Chrissy begins where Dolor: Lila left off – with Agent Jeffries.  Agent Jeffries wakes up on the floor of the house holding the first book, Lila, and wonders why he has a bloody lump on the back of his head.  As I was reading Chrissy, I was struck by how much I wanted to know more about Jeffries and what had happened to him in between reading the diaries.  I hope that the story behind Jeffries is explained in a later diary because I was left with wanting more. 

Jeffries reads the Chrissy diary, becoming more involved with the town of Dolor and its residents who seem to have vanished.  The somber mood of an abandoned Dolor permeates the winter atmosphere of a pre-fire Dolor.  While I knew that the Chrissy concerned a time before the town was destroyed, the lonely charred starkness filled Rob’s story.  The diary belongs to Rob, a single EMT with a lousy love life, has little success with dating, and spends his money on video games.  In some ways, the town was not changed with the fire.  In fact, the town was doomed before the fire.  Dolor was not a happy town before it was burnt and the people in it seem to be familiar with heartache and violence.  The despair is evident in the townspeople, in the choices that they make, and the loneliness that Rob feels every day.  Readers should be able to relate to a man who is not the life of the party, never fits in, and has trouble relating to society.  Rob is stood up for a date, leaves the Dolor mall, is hit by a car, and wakes up in the hospital.  While Rob is in the hospital recovering from his hit and run, he runs into Officer Caleb Taylor who is investigating the crime.  Coincidently, Caleb Taylor is the author of the first diary Agent Jeffries reads Dolor: Lila.  I am left wondering if Caleb is going to show up in every novella in the series and if so, does his story have a happy or sad ending?  The connection of Caleb and Agent Jeffries, ties the diaries together in sadness and redemption.

The novella follows Rob as he is rescued and kidnapped by Chrissy, taken to her house in the middle of nowhere, and attacked by the husband that she no longer loves.  The twist at the end of the diary was not what I was expecting.  Even though I am an avid reader of horror, fantasy, and science fiction, I was not expecting Chrissy to be a vampire.  I suppose the comments about drug use in Dolor, the blandness that is everywhere in town, and Rob’s utter lack of catching onto clues left by his conversations with Chrissy, gave me no clues to his eventually becoming a vampire against his will. 

If that description simply did Dolor: Chrissy justice, readers still do not know what they are missing.  Rick Florino’s ability to write tight convincing dialogue, plot, and intrigue is exceptional, the interspersing of drawing by Kristel Lerman conveying thoughts, scenes, and pieces from the novella add to the feeling of dread and despair that the residents of Dolor feel.  This is not your typical graphic novel or horror novella, the Dolor series drags a reader in from the first page and tells a full story in limited time.

http://www.bookofdolor.com/index.html

By Jessica Bohatch-Easton

Let me just preface this review with a few items.  I am normally not a fan of biographies.  Usually, I find that biographies are statistical, bullets of information, wonderful items to use if one needs a fact or date, and are written in a dry almost textbook-like style that fiction writers and storywriters usually do not employ.  Since I cannot write fiction stories to save my life, I respect those who can write and biographies can sometimes fall short.  Bowie is not one of those biographies.

Reading “Bowie” by Marc Spitz pleasantly surprised me and I read the book in a span of two days, staying up late so I could get in as much read-time before the new day began.  I also have to say that I was hesitant to read a David Bowie biography, because I, like the author, Marc Spitz, am looking forward to David Bowie writing and publishing an auto-biography and I am looking forward to reading about a man whose music I have loved since I was a child and his escapades that I can only imagine.  I was also a little hesitant to read “Bowie” because I did not want my memories of listening to David Bowie and watching his movies to be colored by someone who had written a book about him and perhaps had his own memories about David Bowie.  What if pieces of my childhood that I associated with David Bowie’s music were destroyed by something I read in a biography? 

I started listening to David Bowie when I was a child, because my parents listened and because his songs were on the radio, yet, by the time I was old enough to realize that I was listening to David Bowie, he was doing ‘Let’s Dance’, and I had no idea of what year any of his albums came out.  I listened to and learned about Aladdin Sane, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, Space Oddity, The Man Who Sold the World, and Let’s Dance (and others) all at the same time.  Add to that the tiny crush I had on Jareth the Goblin King in the movie Labyrinth and one can imagine how protective I am of my own childhood memories, because music plays a large part in anchoring my memories in my mind.  In the end I was surprised and had nothing to worry about, my memories and warm fuzzy feelings about David Bowie are intact and have not been torn down.

“Bowie” has everything a David Bowie enthusiast needs and everything those who are interested in music, the 1970’s, English music scene, the 1980’s, and facets of the music business through the years.  If you want to learn about how bands toiled for years, how artists were signed, and what ups and downs musicians went through in the 60’s and 70’s, Spitz does not disappoint. 

Of course, Bowie’s background, childhood, and early years before stardom were discussed.  I believe that if the early years of Bowie and his family were not included in the biography, readers would be seriously deficient in understanding Bowie and the author, Spitz.  In the background and tied to David Bowie and the years of the biography are the memories, observations, and feelings of the author.  The musings of Spitz and his own past draw the reader in and quite frankly make the book personal – not a ‘just the facts’ book about David Bowie.

Spitz spans the life and career of David Bowie, from the early mod years, to the longhaired hippie-ish days, the struggling artist who combined music, art, dance, and theatre, to the spaceman, androgynous lover, drug and alcohol addled genius, the thin white duke, and the art film actor.  Then Spitz continues with the new wave forerunner, popular Bowie of the 1980’s, the straight Bowie, family man, painter, contemplative man, and the semi-retired artist living with his wife and daughter in New York. 

The explanations of why David Bowie changed musical genres, has stayed ahead of or with the new crop of music every few years, how he helped (inadvertently) start many bands and singers on their own paths, and why certain songs and albums were written would be immensely interesting to any David Bowie fan, even a casual fan.  The years that the author goes through, pictures that correlate, stories from friends, exes, ex bandmates, ex managers, and those who have worked with David Bowie support the story of the man Bowie and his music.  The fact that Spitz did not shy away from the good, bad, ugly, strange events and decisions of Bowie’s life shows how Spitz was able to combine his love for Bowie with his love of writing.  I am grateful that the book is not a Bowie love fest, slobbering all over Bowie, only saying positive happy thoughts and events from Bowie’s life and career.  Spitz walks the line between the two worlds admirably.  Spitz even mentioned that at first he was hesitant to write the book for many reasons, one of which was how to write about someone who was an integral part of your life and at the same time tell the truth?

In the end, “Bowie” is not just a book about the life of David Bowie – it is a book about life during the 1960’s through the 1990’s, the music business, and the author.  If Spitz had not added in his own feelings and stories I do not believe the book would have been as successful in portraying Bowie.  Spitz adds his own autobiography neatly and quietly into a book about a man that had such an impact on his life and the lives of others.  I am left with the image of Spitz standing next to David Bowie on a New York City street.  Marc Spitz sees his hero and in the end does not introduce himself to Bowie as David Bowie goes his separate way in the city.

A teacher strives to be many things; culturally responsive is one such important trait.  Culturally responsive teaching is important in all classrooms, especially special education classrooms in the United States.  Many special education classrooms in the U.S. do not address the multiculturalism that exists in those classrooms and as a direct result, multicultural special education students are ignored in a large part of special education and general education.  As an educator, I will strive to be a multicultural responsive teacher who understands my students, studies backgrounds, and is aware that our school systems ignore multicultural students in many settings, especially in special education.  I will also work to incorporate the multicultural backgrounds of my students into their classroom experience and into their education, as I know that my students have the right to the same education as their peers.  I will expect that I will have to learn about the different cultures in my classroom and that my students will need to learn about each other. 

School districts and states have largely ignored the fact that special education students have more multicultural students compared to general education classes.  Why do special education classes have more multicultural students?  The answer is easy as many ‘minority’ students in certain areas of the country have lower incomes, less access to health care, nutrition issues, and language differences.  (Obiakor, 252)  These three combined can result in students who become part of special education programs, whereas Caucasian students in middle income to high income areas have more at their disposal and can avert many disabilities that are a result of poor health care, nutrition, and coming from one country to another. 

Multiculturalism is still somewhat ignored in classrooms across the U.S.  Even in special education classes, where students have a larger proportion of multicultural students, differences in cultures has not been addressed and teaching strategies do not use the cultural backgrounds of the students.  (Obiakor, 251)  These cultural backgrounds should be used in lessons and examples for the students.  If a Mexican-American student sees that his teacher uses a Mexican-American as an example in a word problem during math or Mexican-American history is taught then that student will have a connection and not feel left out.  Especially when the normal ‘voices’ of word problems are American names and European and American history is taught. 

When I am a teacher in a special education classroom, I hope that I will get a mix of children from different cultural backgrounds so that each student can learn from one another.  At the same time, if I do not get a mix of cultures then I will make sure that a child who is multicultural will not feel left out because they are the only multicultural student in the classroom.  I believe that students who are in a classroom with different cultures and different backgrounds learn from one another.  Students who see that there are people different out there in the world, learn to appreciate different people and learn to live side by side different sorts of people.  How can a person who has little multicultural experience, not become shocked at the larger world around them?  While schools are integrated, there are still segregated sections of the U.S., where some schools and/or districts are all ‘white’ or all ‘black’.  This happens to be mostly because of the economics of those areas that keeps one culture one place and another culture in a different place.  If children from segregated districts could go to school together, the school that is in the lower income area will more than likely get better supplies, books, and teaching aides.  The African-American and other minority sections of big cities that have lower test scores, minimal supplies, larger class sizes, old books, and little teaching aides have to be integrated with students from outside their areas.  The students at the schools in minority areas who are not receiving a complete and full education need the opportunity to receive the same education as their suburban peers.

When I was out observing special education students in different classrooms, I was struck by how some classrooms acknowledged that there were multicultural differences in the classrooms and how some classrooms ignored the multiculturalism.  As a teacher, I would strive to be a teacher who does not ignore the multiculturalism that occurs in my classroom.  I will design lessons around different cultures, find out the background of my students so that I can teach in a way that they can each relate to each other.  I found two websites that are advocates for culturally responsive teaching in schools – INTIME and The Knowledge Loom.  According to Gay, from the INTIME website, cultural responsive teaching is the acknowledgment of “cultural heritages of different ethnic groups, both as legacies that affect students’ dispositions, attitudes, and approaches to learning and as worthy content to be taught in the formal curriculum.”  Culturally responsive teaching also “bridges the meaningfulness between home and school experiences… teaches children to know and praise their own and each other’s cultural experiences… incorporates multicultural information, resources, and materials in all subjects and skills routinely taught in schools.” (INTIME, 2009) 

The laws of the U.S. and the civil rights that are afforded to every American clearly give multicultural children in special education classrooms and general education classrooms the same rights and opportunities as other students.  The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 1990 (IDEA) states that ‘people first language’ to identify people with disabilities needs to be used, students with disabilities will be eligible for special education services, discrimination against people with disabilities in public education is illegal, and people are given the opportunity and right to the same equal education as the people who do not have disabilities.  I will make sure that the students in my classroom, whatever their background, have the same equal access to an education, new technologies, books, and cultural sensitiveness and teaching that other schools and classrooms receive.  This means that I have to stay current with new teaching techniques, books, teaching aides, and laws that may affect my students.  Continuously taking classes so that I learn new lessons using my students’ backgrounds and cultures, keeping in contact with the parents from my classroom, and trying out new teaching strategies to help each student feel that their backgrounds are important are ways that I can be culturally responsive.  Since “cultural practices shape thinking practices” a teacher that acknowledges the multicultural students in the classroom and teaches to every student is going to produce students who learn more, are proud of their own cultures, have knowledge of other people, and feel like they “are given the opportunity to control some portion of the lesson” and their education.  (Knowledge Loom, 2009)  The fact is that many students in special education classes have little control over what they learn and how they learn.  This is not a bad thing, but to give students the ability to control even a little bit of their education and empower these students can only be a good thing and create independent happier students.

In order to become a culturally responsive teacher I would need to meet my students, study their backgrounds, speak with their parents, know what laws affect my students, read up on their cultures, and learn new teaching strategies that will benefit each student in learning and becoming just as educated as every other student.  I have seen too many students who know nothing about different cultures because of where they live and because some schools do not use multicultural teaching strategies in their classrooms.  In the future, teachers and schools need to look at the makeup of their schools and adjust their lessons to meet the needs of their students.

Remember years ago when movies were 3D or 3D glasses came with a movie and they were those cheap flimsy paper glasses that never seemed to sit on your face correctly. Well, Disney and AMC spent the big bucks on the 3D glasses. They were actual plastic glasses that were sturdier than sunglasses. Of course I am glad that we were provided with nicely made glasses because I have never in my life paid so much for a movie that was an hour and a half.

We were lucky to get the tickets. What tickets you might be asking yourself and what show? What could be so prized and rare that my daughter was worried for the past two weeks about tickets selling out? The answer is Hannah Montana. Hannah/Miley Cyrus has a 3D concert at the movie theaters right now for one week only (extended for one more week due to exciting ticket sales). The movie is for those who could not get tickets to Hannah/Miley’s concerts – those babies sold out in a minute. Yikes!

Of course my family and I were not able to get tickets to the actual live concert and I was not about to pay a scalper a couple of hundred or even thousands to see a show. No show is worth that much. Though we did pay 18$ a person to see this wonder of wonders plus sodas, candy, and popcorn. I think that night ran us 100$ for two adults and two ten year olds. Now do not get me wrong the movie was not horrible but neither is it something that I would see again. Maybe if I was a 6, 9, or 14 year old. Hannah/Miley’s age range and appeal runs the gamut from 3 years old to 16 years old. I had thought that her fans would drop her as soon as they hit junior high but the girls at the movie and the fans on screen at the concert would contradict that belief. In fact, she seems to have a pretty broad fan base that has expanded outside of the Disney crowd. Hopefully with Miley’s Dad and his music business experience, Miley is coming out on top with royalties, rights, and merchandise.

The hour and a half show consisted of Hannah/Miley performing songs live onstage with a full band and a dozen or so dancers all in color coordinated outfits. If I was one of her dancers I would lobby for more money to counteract the cheesy spandex pre teen outfits that each dancer was wearing. Wouldn’t you hate to have to wear a bright yellow or lime green outfit that your neighborhood nine year old thinks is cool when you are probably 25 or 35? Hannah of course wore her blond wig and many bejeweled outfits. Her jeans sparkled, her tops – you name it she was sparkly. I thought that when she performed as Miley the brightness would be toned down but I was wrong and the sparkles were on full force for the whole concert. What kept running through my mind was who has a Bedazzler kit backstage and how can that person be stopped?

Though Hannah/Miley’s fans were not treated to a full concert, she did sing what seemed to be about half her songs. I know this because I have a ten year old who plays her CD’s over and over again so much so that I can sing along with most of her lyrics. Darn, that information took up space in my brain that could have been used for more useful items such as stock market predictions, boning up on Nostradamus’ predictions, or painting by numbers. Nooooo, I so wanted to learn how to paint by numbers!

The concert footage was broken up by two performances by the above mentioned Jonas Brothers, who my daughter swears she does not have a crush on. Not yet anyway. By the number of girls screaming in high voices that dogs would probably start barking at, you would have thought that it was 1965 and the Beatles were playing a show. One kept ‘telling’ the Brothers to touch her hand and that she almost touched their butts. Wait a minute I could of sworn that we all were at a movie theater, watching a MOVIE? In fact, the movie and music was drowned out by the girls sitting behind us at the theater and their incessant screaming.

I was never a screamer and I used to have a crush on Corey Haim when I was 10 or Geoff Tate and Magnum PI when I was 12 (look them circa 1986 or 1988). Lucas or License to Drive anyone? They were such wonderful movies of the time and I enjoyed them. Not so much as an adult but they were great for what they were and I never tried to scream down a theater. Though I like to think if those girls are ever caught in a dangerous situation their lungs and vocal powers will be put to good use.

The girls at the theater were also scaring my 5 month old. Sadly, she was really enjoying the music. I guess she is being indoctrinated early to ‘wonderful’ pop music. She was very scared every time those girls opened their mouths; maybe my daughter will have some aversion to formulated music when she is older and never know the reason why.

The concert footage also had time backstage with Miley, Miley spending time with her parents, and fan footage featuring hyper girls and their excitement for Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. Seeing Miley without makeup dressed in normal everyday clothes was endearing and frankly was more interesting than seeing her perform. Her tribute to her grandfather or ‘pappy’ was sweet and broke out of the Disney cookie cutter mold. Thank goodness I was not watching something along the lines of High School Musical. If so this review would have been of the video games in the lobby or the book I had in my purse or the book I went to go buy at Barnes & Noble. That sort of movie really would have been torture.

Since I was not actually being tortured, just slightly annoyed I found that there were a few more sections of the movie that were interesting. I had no idea that Miley’s backstage team could fix her hair, makeup and wardrobe in 5 minutes when switching from Hannah to Miley. I also did not know that her mother and father go on tour with her and guide her. Though I do believe whomever is guiding Miley right now with her caked on makeup, mini skirts, and hooker heels needs to be replaced with a proper stylist whose goal isn’t to make a 15 year old look like she is 25. You hear that Miley, you are 15, could you try to look like a teenager? My 10 year old looks up to you. Thank god the movie was very innocent and Miley looked like a teenager. Therefore I did not have to make explanations to my daughter as to why her idol could possibly switch places with someone standing on a street corner.

Remember, you too may one day have to see a movie like Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus with your children. There are better movies and there are worse – a lot worse. I would suggest going to an early showing as to miss the screaming girls.

(oringinally published in the Prism Review)

I was asked to review Radium: With Your Host Tera Wray for a music magazine. When thinking about how I could write a review for the DVD, my goals to finish the review changed and I decided that people do not really need a review, rather they need a warning!

What does one say when asked to review a DVD where one has no interest in watching said DVD – Radium: With Your Host Tera Wray. I have to say that the premise of Radium was slightly misleading because the description from the publicist did not quite match what I actually watched. I expected porn star Tera Wray to interview bands, play videos, and to generally be a nuisance around OZZFest and the California Metalfest. Sadly, this is not the whole of the DVD. I suppose I expected some of the craziness that “producer/musician/whatever hat he is wearing today” Matt Zane is known for and frankly a bit of money plunked down into the production. I did not get either. Tera Wray’s bio and press were a tad misleading as I expected her to be a little more well known and talented. Did I watch what I expected, no. Metal music show – Not Really! Waste of a DVD – Really!

In the music and news industry there are a few female fronted music news and interest shows out on DVD, on television, and on the internet. There are also copious amounts of music magazines online, in print and bands needing, wanting, or avoiding interviews with magazines, websites, and DVD series. Some of the female fronted DVD series and shows have scantily clad hostesses and ex-porn “stars“, because for some reason the music industry seems to think that porn stars have some special insight into music and bands in general. What that special insight is I am not quite sure. The ability to ask silly questions, appear uninformed about a band or genre in general, and have little clue to reality are what these porn stars bring to their shows. Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against porn or porn stars, I just find porn a tad boring and all I can think of is what are these people going to be doing in ten years and (cover your eyes if easily offended) how will they feel wearing diapers at age 50 (porn = anal sex = multiple partners = many many many times = adult diapers). When there is an ex-porn star who is famous for having over 300 men perform certain acts upon her, how else can one not think of future health problems?

Needless to say I was expecting a DVD fronted by a porn star where she interviewed bands, played videos, and spoke about music. When I pulled the DVD out of the envelope the front cover had a naked Tera Wray, aforementioned porn star, featuring a heavily photo shopped ‘star’. Surprisingly, there is a well-done graphic title page and it is probably one of the only places in the DVD that the producer, Matt Zane, spent any money. The rest of the DVD used one cameraman and Tera Wray’s handheld camera. If there were two cameramen and professional editing I could not see any proof. Tera has a really bad habit of letting the camera dangle from her fingertips as she stands around trying to speak to bands and event organizers. The handheld camera ‘a la’ Julia from Fuse television becomes very old very fast. Especially when Tera is not the steadiest of operators and seems not to know how to correctly point the camera lens at her subjects.

The DVD has a few videos by metal bands and the only worthwhile video is by Mortiis. The rest of the videos are not worth mentioning but if you like to watch music videos and find new bands then you’ll probably want to watch these low budget masterpieces. You can either take that with sarcasm or not, it just depends on your music likes and video preferences.

Along with the few videos there are the fantastic interviews that Tera conducts. For some reason she apparently is not briefed on the band or the background of the guys that she speaks to. Her questions might as well be “What is your favorite color?” or “Where did you grow up?” for all the complexity and imagination that went into her words. Though if you are the type to enjoy watching someone ask few questions while standing around at concerts or in recording studios while interviewees look slightly uncomfortable and amused at the interviewer then this DVD is for you.

The pattern of the DVD is set into interviews, porn chapters, and videos. How can one mention the porn in this DVD? I really would prefer not to mention the porn. Mentioning it might make a few people go out and get this just to see how badly, or to some people, how good it is. I really do not want to contribute to any sales of this DVD. Let’s just say that the guys only know one position and each guy is a master at grabbing a thong, but that is about it! They are only shot from the neck down, maybe to preserve their identity because any sane person would die from embarrassment at being in this DVD. The girls are quite made up and seem to only know one action to perform on their partners. The faked sound effects and “conversations” between each “couple” are so laughable that I had a great time making up interesting fake conversations. The only way to get through the amateur filming and just plain boring sex between the couples is to make like Mystery Science Theater. It is the only way to enjoy oneself.

If you are a fan of music then you will not enjoy this video. If you are a fan of pornography then you will not enjoy this either. I spoke to a friend who really enjoys porn and has watched almost everything that he can get his hands on and he thought it was awful and could not finish watching the DVD. If that does not cement the DVD review then I do not know what will.

What a shame, I do not think that I will get anymore material from the publicist who sent the DVD. As for the music magazine, we’ll see if I send this in.

(originally published for the Prism Review)